


you can’t trust anyone (not even you brother)

by matthewisdrunk (ghostlyadriel)



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Stockholm Syndrome, Trauma, Unreliable Narrator, Villain Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Villain Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), nothing is good! sorry, smp! tommy must suffer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-17 01:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28591569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlyadriel/pseuds/matthewisdrunk
Summary: can i just fight for the winning sideand feel that i’m building ahome and a life to beholdtill it's robbed from my sight?- sjamboska, gang of youths.dream cashes in his favour. technoblade gives tommy up, and deeply regrets it.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 358





	1. sjamboska

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jesus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesus/gifts).



> sorry! :”) all i write is angst !

techno and tommy run from tubbo and ranboo, laughing like a pair of stupid teenagers who just vandalized an overpass. techno grabs tommy’s hand as they sprint to the nether portal, tommy talking animatedly about his next plans for minor acts of the terrorism. techno listens, his red eyes soft with fondness.

tommy feels like he’s fucking flying - he hasn’t felt this lighthearted in ages, (not since wilbur died.) he can hardly believe this is happening - he’s here, with his older brother, pissing about and having a good time. he pushes tubbo out of his mind and reminds himself that connor won’t hold a grudge - he never does. they had some lighthearted fun, techno got his tools back, and now they’re going home. (home, home, home. maybe phil will visit soon?)

they reach l’manberg’s state owned nether portal, (which technoblade scorns with a scoff,) and tommy’s cheerful steps come to an abrupt pause. 

clad in shining netherite and with an axe strapped to his back, standing at the portal, is dream. his porcelain mask remains on his face, obscuring any view of his expression. tommy subconsciously steps back.

“hey, dream,” tommy says in a small voice, cursing himself for stuttering slightly.

techno noticing tommy’s tense shoulders and pained expression, leans in, whispering loudly enough for dream to hear, “don’t be scared, tommy, he don’t got no house. how are you gonna be scared of some homeless guy?”

tommy laughs weakly, but his eyes remain fixed upon dream. 

“what are you doing, tommy?” dream asks, his voice gentle, though the way he lifts his chin and juts it out alerts tommy of his obvious disappointment.

“i- uh, i was, i was visiting l’manberg,” tommy spits out, trying to keep up his persona. “not that it’s any of your business.”

“it is my business!” dream says reproachfully, “you’re my friend, and i was worried about where you were! you know you’re not allowed to just leave.”

tommy pushes down the stupid amount of guilt he feels, (and the euphoria that dream said he cares,) fidgets nervously, trying to stop slouching, (dream hates it when he does that.) “you weren’t my friend. you were just making sure i did as you said, you never cared about me! you-“ tommy’s voice embarrassingly cracks- “you manipulated me.”

dream’s face isn’t discernible past that goddamn mask but tommy knows he’s angry - from the way he readjusts his posture to a wider stance, the way he tap-tap-taps his fingers on the hilt of his gleaming sword.

“i didn’t manipulate you, tommy,” dream says, his voice mocking, “i was the only person who visited you. come on, now, if you just be good it won’t be so bad.”

tommy automatically flinches at the words, and takes another step back, this time behind technoblade. 

techno steps forward, laying a hand on tommy’s shoulder, “well, that’s going to be a problem, dream, because this guy is with me.”

dream narrows his eyes behind the white porcelain, and tommy can’t help but smile widely at techno, his eyes lighting up with adoration.

dream scowls, “are you sure, techno?”

“i am sure,” techno says tartly. “this is a business partner, and we are working for our own mutual benefit. he’ll be with me, thank you.” techno grins slightly, “unless, of course, you want to cash in that favour.”

tommy’s face drops. “what- what favour?” he asks. when he receives no answer, he asks again, more desperate. “no, wait- what- what favour?”

“don’t ask questions tommy,” techno says, his voice quieter. “the adults are speaking.” 

tommy shrugs techno’s hand off his shoulder, glancing between techno and dream frantically. “you can’t- you can’t just hand me back to him, techno! techno, he’ll- he’ll fucking kill me,” tommy hisses. fear creeping up his spine. 

“he won’t,” techno says, but his voice carries none of the certainty it usually has. they both look up at dream, who has been waiting to speak.

“you know what, techno? i think i might.” in four strides, he’s a foot away from tommy. “thank you, i’ll be taking him from here. pleasure doing business.”

tommy tries to scramble away, but dream grabs a hold of his wrist. tommy looks up at techno wildly, his eyes wide open in shock, “techno!” 

techno abruptly looks away, and with a short, “i’m sorry, tommy,” he all but runs away, to a different nether portal on the other side of l’manberg. tommy watches him leave, frozen in place, a horrified look painted on his face. (why doesn’t he fight back? why does he let it happen?)

dream tugs his wrist, and tommy stares up at him, dread closing his throat up. the barely healed cuts on tommy’s wrist stings, and he lets dream lead him away without a word. 

tommy wishes he just jumped into the lava.

.

techno steps through the nether portal, feeling as though he’s in a dream. his head spins as he walks into the nether hub, killing a piglin without a thought. the air is hot and humid, and techno feels like something inside of him is going to break.

he just betrayed the only brother he has left.

all at once, techno feels the breath being knocked out of his lungs, and leans over the side of the nether fortress he’s passing through. he clutches at the short walls, looking down at the lava, and is horribly reminded of the time he saw tommy sitting on some ledge in the nether.

he remembers the dead, empty looks in his eyes, the way tommy fingered some compass despondently, the way he stared at the lava for hours. techno was originally going to go down and mock him, but when the boys stayed there for more than ten minutes, techno watched. he told himself he was just resting, but he knew that he was looking out for the kid and making sure he wouldn’t jump. tommy eventually left, but he looked as though he had been crying.

techno would like to say he did something about it, or at least told someone, but he didn’t. he simply watched as his brother battled what must have been suicidal ideation, alone.

techno jumps through the sound portal, and enderpearls home, trying to push tommy out of his head, he has turtles and bees to look after, and he needs to fix carl’s stable.

he has no time to think of tommy and what dream will do to him.

he gets home, throwing his coat onto his doorside rack with more force than necessary. he stomps into his kitchen, trying not to think of the way dream held tommy’s wrist, rather than his hand. it makes techno want to throw up - dream didn’t treat tommy like a person, more like some insolent pet. 

techno knows tommy didn’t have a good time in exile. he hasn’t expected him to - get8ng thrown out of your nation at age sixteen by your best friend wasn’t very good for your mental health. but tommy had revealed soemthing a lot more sinister, soemthing that seemed to techno like manipulation.

the way tommy jumped to defend dream but still seemed terrified of him, the way he’d complain of his head hurting when he tries to think about dream, the way he seemed so scared of what techno would say to him.

and the it turned out to be worse than what techno thought.

he realized the purple on his neck were makes form fingers, and techno deduced he’d been choked. he seemed so small and skinny, so frail. there were cuts on his wrists, his head, his neck, his legs. it was concerning, but tommy would only let him clean the cuts if he promised not to ask any questions, and tec(no obliged.

he figured tommy would tell him within time, though he had some parts figured out already.

there was one thing, however, that he couldn’t get out of tommy at all.

_“jeez, what did dream do to you?” jokes techno, not really expecting an answer._

_tommy straightens immediately, “nothing! he didn’t do anything, i was just stupid, i deserved it.”_

_“you’re certainly annoying, but i don’t think you could have done anything to deserve, well, that,” techno says, waving his hand at the burn mark on tommy’s arm._

_“it could’ve been worse, he could’ve-“ tommy’s voice cuts off very suddenly, and he raises a hand to his temple. “he could’ve-“ tommy closes his mouth again, and this time he doesn’t open it. he subconsciously starts tugging at his hair, as if he were deliberately trying to rip it out. his eyes lose focus, and his mouth curls in a grimace._

_techno blinks in stories, “hey, hey, hey, it’s okay, you don’t shave to tell me if you’d ton want to.” he tries to 7nclecnh tommy’s haden’s from around his hair, “you’re hurting yourself. tommy? tommy! tommy, you gotta stop.”_

_technos face creases in worry as tommy decidedly does not stop. he gets tommy to do the breathing and grounding excersise, and it takes tommy a good twenty minutes to calm down. when his panic attack recedes, he still doesn’t say anything, so techno leaves him to it._

_he wishes he were better at comforting people, but, as it stands, he is not, so he leaves tommy to his own devices, deciding the kid might fare better with a little alone time. ___

__techno still winces at the memory. he doesn’t know why he’d just give him in, after everything they’d been through. he doesn’t even know what dream will do to tommy, he doesn’t know if anyone will be able to visit. he handed his vulnerable younger brother goth back into his abuser, after he swore off violas, after he swore to phil that he’d try to piece back their stupid family together._ _

__techno puts his head in his hands. tommy is a child. a mature child, certainly, but he needs someone to look after him, to protect him. he thinks of tommy’s dead expression looking at the lava, he thinks of tommy’s slurred recounts of how dream beat him up, he thinks of tommy’s terror when dream grabbed his wrist, and techno is crying, he’s actually crying, tears are pouring down his cheeks and he sits in a chair, the chair that tommy liked so much._ _

__how’s he going to tell phil about this? _“oh yeah, i gave your traumatized and suicidal son back to his abuser because of a favour i owed him, sorry about that!”__ _

__why did he do it? because he was scared? he could fight dream, why didn’t he? did he give tommy up because he was lazy, because he was angry, because he felt like tommy deserved it?_ _

__what kid deserves to be beat so savagely not evening healing potions help? what kid deserves to be fucked up in the head so badly they believe they deserve to be burnt?_ _

__tommy told techno dream was going to kill him, and techno gave him up anyways, tommy told techno that dream tugged his hair out, and techno gave him up anyways. techno recognized that tommy had been gaslit, and he gave tommy up anyways. tommy confessed that sometimes he had felt so awful he had slashed up his shoulders and wrists, and techno gave him up anyways._ _

__how did this happen? why did he let it happen? why did he get tommy to place all his trust in techno, promise him a better life, look after him, only to rip it all away?_ _

__techno slams his fist on the table and weeps bitterly._ _


	2. downhill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> that’s just something people say  
> when they’re on their last leg and  
> they need someone to say something to help them cope  
> or someone to say something hopeful  
> “i hope you’re okay”  
> but that's just something people say
> 
> \- downhill, lincoln
> 
> .
> 
> dream brings tommy to his new place of exile. tommy has a panic attack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unplanned second chapter pog???????? i have a million other fics yo write but L

dream's fist closes around tommy's hand, ever tighter. tommy winces but doesn't make a sound. it's like there's a hand wrapped around his throat as well, forcing him to stay silent.

dream leads him through a nether portal, then a few hundred blocks later another one, and then another and another, all without a word. tommy tries to remember the directions, but the walk is so long and he's still shaking with fear and his eyes are blurry with tears, so he can't take in his surrounding correctly. he gets lost so quickly, he's almost grateful for dream's presence, looking after him and leading him to where he needs to go.

tommy shakes that thought out of his head. he us not grateful towards dream. techno told him that dream was manipulating him, that dream was wrong and was hurting him.

but if dream was so awful why did techno give him back? 

tommy had lived his life with dream, he knew the man better than techno did. why did he believe techno? 

was it because techno was kind to him? dream was too, he gave tommy health potions and cleaned some of his wounds and leant him his trident.

was it because techno protected him from mobs? dream did too, he protected tommy from everyone, even sapnap and lazar. sure, dream hit tommy himself, but he wouldn't let anyone else, or any other hostile mobs hurt him.

perhaps because techno gave him shelter, though dream did that too, when he helped patch up tommy's tent and showed him how to properly craft a bed.

tommy is snapped out of his thoughts by dream, who is still digging his fingernails into the cuts of tommy’s arm, asking, "what are you going to name the new place?"

tommy pauses. he's unsure. a wave of hopelessness crashes over him - he misses logstedshire, even though it was awful and cold and lonely.

"ammonia," he says, voice hoarse, though it has no reason to be - he's barely said a word. 

"ammonia?" repeats dream, confused.

"like bleach," tommy tries to explain, though he knows he still isn't making much sense.

dream seems to know this too, as he simply moves on, dragging tommy to a final nether portal. they step through. 

tommy looks around, his new home doesn’t seem to be too bad. he’s not near a beach anymore, and that upsets him a little, but really, if he wanted to stay at logstedshire, he shouldn’t have run away.

tommy is honestly surprised at how easily he is giving himself up to dream. he thought that his time with technoblade would’ve reinvigorated his spirit a little, but he seems drained, worse than he was before. he knows dream's every word without thought - it scares him.

there’s no word to describe it other than despondent - tommy truly believes there’s no life other than this, there’s no life without dream, (and the hitting and burning and insulting and manipulating that comes with him.)

in ammonia, there’s a forest, surrounding a clearing, and as tommy walks towards it dream shakes his shoulder. he snaps to attention and looks up at dream, trying to focus.

“there’s a flower forest thatta way,” dream says, inclining his head west. “maybe i’ll take you there, someday, if you’re good.”

tommy nods wordlessly. it's so kind if dream to even consider being anything but cruel to him, tommy knows he doesn't deserve kindness. 

dread builds up in him, pooling in his lungs. he knows what happens now - he upset dream, and now dream is going to punish him. tommy vaguely wonders why dream would bring him to this new place only to immediately kill him. he considers asking the question, but he knows it’d piss off the man.

maybe it’s because dream wants him to die in a pretty place. it seems like the kind of nice thing dream would do for him, even though he doesn’t deserve it. 

tommy doesn’t fucking deserve to die either, and he doesn’t deserve whatever else dream does to him- 

but dream is his friend, right? dream is the only person who visits him.

techno fed him lies about how awful dream is and then promptly handed him back. it doesn’t make fucking sense. maybe techno just wanted to fuck him up. maybe techno hates him. scratch that, techno definitely hates him. everyone in l’manberg does too, and now dream will hate him, because he ran away and fucked everything up and took kindness for granted and-

tommy doesn’t realize he’s hyperventilating till dream is muttering, “count to eight, then seven, then five, come on.”

tommy registers he’s on the floor. he tries to follow the breathing excersise, copying dream’s exaggerated breathing. dream buries his hand in tommy’s once again fluffy hair, (techno had insisted he wash it, and properly - tommy is grateful for that.)

when he finally calms down, (fucking finally, jesus, how pathetic does he have to be to have a panic attack in front of dream? how stupid can he possibly be?) he notices dream is staring at him.

"you okay now?" he asks softly, and tommy feels like fucking weeping because he doesn't deserve kindness. he’s a stupid and terrible and awful and unlovable kid who fucks everything up all the time. 

dream smiles at him, and it’s not loving or kind, it’s cruel and vindictive. tommy knows he is going to die now, dream is going to kill him in this pretty place he has named ammonia, and tommy is going to fucking deserve every hit.

he leans down, and pulls a flower from the ground, deciding he’ll stare at the flower when dream kills him. the flower will be his distraction.

he looks up at dream, who stares down expectantly, his mask ever-imposing. tommy hates it. it makes dream seem so much less human, less kind. and tommy knows dream is a kind human man. he wonders why he doesn’t show it often.

“will you take off your mask?” tommy regrets the words as soon as they come out of his mouth. he hates how brash and abrasive and fucking stupid he is. dream only takes off his mask on special occasions, like when nobody showed up to his party, and the first time tommy dropped all his things in a pit without dream asking him too.

and here, like a fucking dumb idiot, he asks dream to take off his mask, even though he knows he’s going to be punished.

“tommy, do you really think you’re in any position to be making demands?” the question is asked with no malice, simply a tired tone that makes tommy’s heart hurt.

“no, no, i shouldn’t have said that, i’m sorry,” tommy rambles, “i didn’t mean it, i was being stupid, i’m sorry.” 

tommy wishes he would just curl up and die.

dream stares at him with the creepy mask, and after maybe two minutes tommy realizes dream wants him to do that humiliating thing where he recites why he’s getting a punishment and why he deserves it. 

it makes tommy’s ears burn with shame every time and if anyone else knew he did it tommy thinks he’d die on the spot. it makes him feel so awful in a way he can’t even describe.

but tommy knows full well he deserves it, so he gets on.

he stumbles over his words, “i- uh… i tried to run away from you, and teamed up with technoblade. that was a- it was a- uh, a bad thing to do, because… because you didn’t like it, and you told me to stay and i didn’t listen. i- i…. should have done what you said, which means i should’ve stayed in logstedshire. i didn’t do that, because i was being stupid. doing things like that makes me a shitty and- and unbearable person. i’m sorry, and next time, i’ll- i’ll do as you say.” tommy looks up at dream, bracing himelf for a hit that never comes.

“what else does it make you, tommy?” dream asks instead, in his detached professional voice.

“it makes me an awful and- and unloveable person,” tommy recites, shame burning his insides. he wishes he were fucking dead.

(the traitorous bastard part of his brain whispers no, no, no, no- you’re not unlovable - phil, techno, wilbur, ranboo, tubbo… they love you, and you love them. it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay.) 

(phil could never love him now, after everything hes fucking done. techno gave him up. tubbo and ranboo exiled him, and wilbur… tommy doesn’t think about wilbur. he doesn’t think about better times, naps together, sharing a bed, sleeping in the starlight. he doesn’t think of warm bread and muffled giggles as they made potions. he rids himself of any thought of, “tommy… thank you for sticking with me. i love you, you know that?”

of wilbur loving him. of tommy loving wilbur. the two of them and their nation, coming as close to the feeling of living as possible it feels real and beautiful, abd tommy would do anything to have wilbur smile like that again, laugh with him like that again. tommy doesn’t want to think about it, nowadays. 

tommy wants to think even less of angry screams, bony fingers digging into his shoulders, drawing blood. he rids his mind of thoughts of incoherent yelling, sickly sweet whispers of, “lets be the bad guys, tommy,” and hisses of, “you’ll never be president.” he thinks of l’dog and how wilbur killed it. he thinks of l’manberg and how wilbur blew it up, he thinks of wilbur and how he died.

tommy is sure, completely certain, that he died the second wilbur did. 

he is certain, the second he saw wilbur’s body slump into phil’s arms is the minute his heart stopped beating. his mind was filled with static then, and it’s staticky now. he tries to look up, snap out of it, but he’s staring up at wilbur instead of dream. and this wilbur is crying. he’s crying and he leans down to tommy, cupping his jaw in his hands, and whispers, utterly broken, “tommy, why didn’t you help me? why did you let it get as bad as it did? why did you let me die?” 

tommy hears a distant screaming, and as his eyes and ears slowly focus again he realizes he’s the one who’s screaming. his throat is hoarse and raw from crying. tommy looks up again, and this time he’s staring at dream.

dream, who is most certainly going to kill him. fear clutches his heart and his blood runs cold.

tommy’s eyes shut as he falls limply back into the grass.

he’s fucking fainted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gib comment pls :") pls pls pls

**Author's Note:**

> comments make brain go brrrr pls comment even just to insult my writing


End file.
